Tea Time with Jo | Holiday Boundaries and Staying Healthy

By now, you have heard me say several times that covering your Wind Gate is helpful for avoiding getting sick. What I haven’t discussed yet on my blog or social media is how having good boundaries can also help to keep you healthy. Is your interest piqued yet?

First, Let’s Discuss Wei Qi.

Wei Qi is the body’s defensive qi. It is the outermost qi of the body; quite literally the first defense your body has against external invasions from pathogenic factors but also from energetic exchanges. It can be likened to what some would call “aura”. Your Wei Qi also makes up a huge part of your immune system. In East Asian Medicine, the Wei Qi is an extension of the Lung channel. Since the Lung channel governs the skin, Wei Qi plays a roll in the “opening and closing” of your pores. When it is cold out, your pores will “close” to protect your body from external cold invasion. When it is hot out, your pores will “open” to release sweat and vent out the heat. 

Ever get goosebumps when someone of a questionable character walks past you??? That is your Wei Qi protecting you from unwanted energies. What about goosebumps when you hear a scary story? You guessed it, that’s your Wei Qi at work. 

Things that positively impact your Wei Qi include good nutrition, healthy lifestyle, appropriate exercise and good rest. Things that negatively impact your Wei Qi include the opposite of those things plus lower frequency energies like anger, fear, shame or guilt.

Boundaries.

When we have poor boundaries, we create weaknesses in our Wei Qi and that leaves us susceptible to pathogenic invasion and energetic leaks (that feeling of exhaustion after spending time with someone who is an energy vampire). Anytime you overextend yourself at work or make a social commitment out of obligation rather than desire, your Wei Qi takes a hit. Chronic people pleasers are prone to having Wei Qi dysfunction and can develop a lot of seasonal/environmental allergies or tend to be sick multiple times a year. 

Over the holidays, a lot of us tend to be lax with our boundaries. Some folks host certain guests at their home out of social obligation even though they know they are full of drama and end up making a spectacle. Some others travel to see family out of obligation to avoid conflict with their in-laws or another family member, even though they would rather stay home. In some cases Aunt Janice has no respect for your journey into health and gets upset when you won’t have any of her famous Mac N Cheese even though you just explained that you are following an Anti-Inflammatory Protocol to help heal your gut. 

In my line of work, I hear a lot of patients mention that they worry family will ask “when are you having kids?” when they have desperately been trying for years to conceive. It hits them in a really vulnerable area and most people don’t know how to stand up for themselves in these situations in a way that is firm but inoffensive.

ALL OF THESE THINGS can lead to weakness in your Wei Qi. 

Holiday Eating and Putting It All Together.

By this time of year, most folks are ready to drink themselves into oblivion to deal with annoying Uncle Johnny. Others opt for over eating of inflammatory foods because they only have Grandma’s Pecan Pie once a year. Unfortunately, both of those things will also create weakness in your Wei Qi especially when it happens more frequently (holiday parties at work and then with family or friends). Between the increased levels of sugar, alcohol, inflammatory foods, stress and cold weather…how does your immune system stand a chance?? This time of year is associated with cold and flu season, and it’s no wonder why. 

Have you ever met one of those people who never get sick? Do they also happen to have good boundaries? It’s food for thought! 

Protect Your Wei Qi.

Because you are a human being living on planet Earth, you are bound to experience some of these stressors during the holidays. Here are some tips to help protect your Wei Qi that you can apply to the rest of the year as well:

-Avoid processed foods as much as possible. If you anticipate a lot of unhealthy holiday eating, do your best to make the meals you can control as nutritious as possible. 

-Make a side dish to bring with you. That way you can control the ingredients and know you have something to eat along with whatever main protein is being served. If that is the bulk of your meal, a little dessert afterwards will be less of a big deal. 

-Reduce your alcohol consumption, or even better, eliminate it. If you need something to help you with stress, consider an alternative like CBD which actually has immune protective functions. You can also create a fun mocktail that you can enjoy without feeling alcohol FOMO. 

-Practice Qi Gong. There are lots of videos on YouTube that you can follow along with on the morning of your specific holiday gathering before you interact with others. 

-Use essential oils and crystals to help protect your energetic field. Dab some oils on the nape of your neck and wrists. Carry crystals in your bra or pockets. Bonus points if you have crystal jewelry that you can adorn yourself with. 

-For the love of God, or whatever higher power you believe in, cover your Wind Gate (nape of neck and upper back)!

-Set Boundaries. Turn down the invite to the place you don’t want to be. Turn down the overtime if you are completely exhausted and the idea of it makes you want to vomit (no matter how much it pays). Avoid speaking with difficult people at the holiday party as much as you can. Perhaps prepare some rehearsed responses to difficult questions that would help you protect your peace. If someone asks “when are you having kids?” you can alway giggle and say “wow, you sure are interested in my sex life!”. If you would rather stay home and not partake in the holiday chaos you can always claim you had exposure to a sick person and don’t want to risk infecting others. Most people will be understanding and even grateful that you have excluded yourself and no one’s feelings need to get hurt. 

I want to close out this post by reminding you that your feelings matter too and that it is ok to protect your peace. As my sister would advise: “If it isn’t a ‘fuck yes’ then it’s a ‘fuck no’”. 

Wishing you all a peaceful and drama-free holiday : )